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Archive for the ‘YA’ Category

Anna Godbersen, Splendor

The last in the Luxe series, a quartet of books about Olde New York at the turn of the twentieth century.  The first three were soapy fun (and indeed, you can find reviews of them here and here), but this one?  Ugh.  Imagine the most depressing ending possible for each individual character, and that’s pretty much what happens.  Godbersen steers clear of the overtly tragic, and instead runs aground on the drearily humdrum:  unhappy marriages remain “intact” only because both partners have nowhere better to go, new alliances are made that lack the passion and the spark of original pairings, and Diana, the wannabe bohemian character, is as fucking annoying as ever.  Only now, she’s even more self-righteous!

I’m not going to say that Splendor made me want to jump out of a window, because I was having a bad day and I ALREADY wanted to jump out of a window, but Splendor?  Splendor did not help. 

Recommended for:  Skip it.

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I am the worst person in the entire world to lend books to.  There.  I said it.  It’s not that I spill things or dog-ear pages or anything like that; no, it’s worse.  I KEEP THEM FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER.

And yet despite that known fact, my family keeps lending me books.  Weirdos.

Seriously, I have had my sister’s copy of The Skull Beneath the Skin since…last Christmas?  I think.  Anyway, it’s been a loooooooong time.  I’ve had my mom’s copy of The Fortune Cookie Chronicles for the same amount of time.  I have not read either of them.  YES I FAIL AT LIFE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Anyway, I went to visit my parents for Columbus Day, and while I was there my mother forced Megan Whalen Turner’s Attolia books on me.  Never one to turn down YA fantasy/historical fiction, I stuffed them in my suitcase and promptly forgot about them.  Until my mother came up this past weekend and demanded them back.

No, not The Fortune Cookie Chronicles.  Not Lord Rochester’s Monkey, which I have also had for almost a calendar year.  She wanted me to return the books she’d lent me all of a MONTH before.

She graciously allowed me to read them while she was visiting, though, and now I get it.  I really do.

Thus far, the Attolia books consist of The Thief, The Queen of Attolia, and The King of Attolia.  They all star Gen, a (you guessed it) thief, and if I told you anything else about them it would totally ruin the plot of the first book.  ANYWAY.  They rock.  And do you want to know why they rock?  Because they contain the sickest, most twisted love story EVAR.

DUDE.  DOOOOOOOD.  The lady in question CUTS OFF HER LOVER’S HAND.  And that’s just the foreplay.  It doesn’t get more hardcore than that!

I gave them back to my mother with a pang, although honestly?  The only one I really wanted to keep was The Queen of Attolia.  Because that’s the one where the “romance” really heats up, and I am a sick, sick girl.

Recommended for:  Anyone who enjoys “The Masochism Tango.”

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So some of you may be wondering, “What is with all this goopy relationship shit?  Where is the incisive literary commentary?  When will she finally post another Bayou entry?  Where is my goddamn sandwhich?”

To which I say—why were the stats on my last entry so low?  What, do you people hate charity?  And teenagers?  AND CONDOMS?

I think we’ve BOTH got a lot to answer for, really.

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So last night I tried to bathe the toilet drinker because it makes his coat all glossy and healthy, and he reacted by clawing me so badly that I bled through my clothes.  And then he pissed all over himself and the tub.

…it was not my finest hour as a cat owner.  And no, I will never, EVER do that to him again.  My poor giant boo—it took him an entire two hours to forgive me.  I felt so bad about it that this morning when he tried to eat my blueberry bran muffin, I barely had the heart to stop him.  “He’s EARNED that muffin!” I thought, but I figured that giving in over the baked good would be like trying to bribe your kid with candy after beating him the night before.  So I ate the muffin myself.  THROUGH MY TEARS OF SHAME.

Man, I can’t WAIT until I have an actual human-type infant!  I will not fuck that up horribly AT ALL!

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It’s a husband and wife double feature!

Oh, and I totally read these on the same day.  Now THAT was some cognitive dissonance…

Scott Westerfeld, Leviathan

Steampunk ahoy!  Deryn Sharp is a willful Scottish lass who, with a little help from her big brother, disguises herself as a boy and joins the army so that she can fly!  See, even though it’s Great Britain in the early 1900s, England already has an Air Force made up of living “beasties” (that’s what Deryn calls them) that were developed by Charles Darwin.  Who discovered evolution and DNA .

Meanwhile, young Alek, the product of a morganic marriage between the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne and a commoner (meaning he can’t inherit) is awakened during the middle of the night by his tutors.  They want him to learn how to pilot one of the Austrian army’s giant metal Stormwalkers under cover of darkness.  Why?  No reason!  His dad just thought it would be a good idea for the kid to get in some nighttime practice while he and his mother were off in Prague!

Alek’s parents have totally been assassinated, y’all.  Welcome to World War I, steampunk style!

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Malinda Lo, Ash

I checked this out because I occasionally read Scalzi’s “Big Idea” posts and Malinda Lo wrote one.  In it, she described the premise of Ash, which is essentially “Gay Cinderella!”

Well, not quite.  In some ways, Ash is the classic Cinderella story:  wicked stepmother, one or more evil stepsisters, the Prince’s search for a bride, the obligatory “The magic will wear off by midnight!” clause, and a dance with the Prince during which he finds the Cinderella character (the titular Ash) inscrutable and desirable.

But Ash isn’t really about any of those things.  Ash is about the main character’s friendship with a fairy prince and her budding romance with the king’s huntress, Kaisa.   The Cinderella touches are really quite incidental.

Which, you know, is okay.  As Lo herself writes:

My debut novel, Ash, is a lesbian retelling of Cinderella. But the big idea behind it isn’t that Cinderella is a lesbian. The big idea is this:  Nobody in the book cares that she’s a lesbian.

This is true.   No one ever speaks negatively about Ash’s sexuality.  But what really made me want to read the book was this statement by Lo:

My first draft of Ash was, I admit, a relatively straightforward — and straight — retelling of the fairy tale. Ash, the Cinderella character, fell in love with the prince. But then I asked a friend to read it, and she did me the biggest favor ever: She told me that Ash and the prince lacked chemistry. She also pointed out that Ash had a lot of chemistry with this other character in the book, who happened to be a woman.

This sounded really interesting to me; I mean, I can’t count the number of modern fairy tales I’ve read where the main characters had ZERO chemistry but were forced together because that’s how the story was “supposed” to go.  I thought to myself, “Mankiller, it would be cool to read a book where the chemistry between two characters was so strong that it necessitated a complete rewrite.  Also, gay Cinderella just sounds cool.  I am all for it!”

So I read it.  And honestly?  It doesn’t really work.

Frankly, I don’t think Ash really has chemistry with anyone, because frankly, Ash is a pretty poorly-written character.  She’s too insular and unformed to make a compelling protagonist, which is really unfortunate since the novel centers on her relationships.  There’s no there there, and man, does it show.

The book can be split into roughly three main points:  Ash’s relationship with her family, both biological and step; Ash’s relationship with the fairy world/fairy prince; and Ash’s relationship with Kaisa.  None of these relationships is really explored in depth–Lo leaves WAY too many unanswered questions about EVERYTHING.  For example, Ash’s mother dies and her father quickly remarries and then dies himself.  Why did he get hitched again so quickly?  Why did he kick it so fast?  These questions are never answered, and therefore end up feeling like plot contrivances.   And as for Ash’s relationship with the fairy world, some explanation is offered as to why she’s so close to it and others aren’t (although the explanation has more to do with her mother than with Ash herself), but by and large?  Lo tries to make everything so mysterious that it winds up being boring.  Ash and her fairy prince barely talk, and when they do, they don’t say much of note.  The same can be said of her relationship with Kaisa, the huntress.  The relationships are about equally inscrutable, which is why it’s so hard to tell why Ash picks one person over the other.

Some things are done well.  Ash’s attachment to the Prince is pretty clearly not really sexual in nature:  she’s in love with his beauty and his difference and the fact that here he is, offering an alternative to her completely sucktastic human life.  She doesn’t really want to bone him, although there are sensual aspects to their relationship; any heterosexual woman who’s ever had a girl-crush will recognize the relationship dynamic immediately.  So Lo does a good job of portraying a friendship that’s so deep that it’s almost–but not really–sexual.  But Ash herself is such a cipher…I mean, Lo is pretty deliberately vague about Ash’s age, but she’s in her mid-teens by the time she meets Kaisa.  And yet there’s never any point before that where she goes, “Hmmm…honestly, given my druthers, I’d rather make out with a girl.”  Because Ash doesn’t seem to think about sex or relationships at all.

I call bullshit.  MAJOR BULLSHIT.

Leaving all that aside, though, my most basic problem with the book was the fact that the way Lo has constructed sexuality in this world is rather poorly thought-out.  She writes:

So I decided that in Ash’s world, homosexuality is entirely normal. People are more likely to be heterosexual, but nobody blinks when they see a same-sex couple. It is a natural and legitimate state of being.

Okay, BUT:  Ash’s step-sisters are still banking their futures on marrying rich MEN.  No one ever even mentions the possibility that they could ensure their financial stability by marrying rich women.  I mean, all things being equal, marrying for money should be marrying for money, right?  Also, the Prince of the kingdom is being pressured to marry a WOMAN.  Fortunately for him, it seems that he’s heterosexual, but what if he hadn’t been?  What would they have done then?  Forced him to marry a woman whether he wanted to or not?  Allowed him to marry a well-connected man and then adopt/have a biological child with a suitable female partner? 

Despite the fact that homosexuality is no big deal, there’s seemingly no provision made for gay marriage.  Which, frankly, is bullshit.  It seems to me that true acceptance of homosexuality would result in a set of at least slightly different social mores.  If homosexuality was really “a natural and legitimate state of being,” then there would be customs in place to accommodate it.  But there aren’t.  Lo essentially took the customs of a heteronormative pre-industrial culture and stuck acceptance in there, and I’m sorry:  it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense from a sociological perspective.  Needed a little more thought right there…

Recommended for:  It’s honestly not bad, especially for a first novel.  Despite all my bitching, I think it’s worth checking out if you enjoy fairy tales.

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Shelf Discovery

Lizzie SkurnickShelf Discovery: The Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading

So Skurnick and a handful of co-writers, including my own beloved Jennifer Weiner, wrote a book of brief essays about the YA novels they love.  Since the authors are all in their thirties or forties, these books generally date from the 60s, 70s, or the 80s—and yet, I’ve read most of them.  Huh.  Not to knock those books, but I think my knowledge of them speaks more to the dearth of good YA written when I was a kid than to the enduring whatever of these novels.

Seriously, I love Judy Blume and all, but when I was a kid?  I would have killed for a “contemporary” novel that, you know, actually depicted my contemporaries.  Seriously.  We had Fear Street and the occasional Newberry-winning sob-fest and that was it.  PITY ME.

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Beth Fantaskey, Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

Jessica Packwood, the daughter of vegan, sustainable-farming professor parents, gets a right shock her senior year:   a “foreign exchange student” will be living in the apartment over her parents’ garage.  A foreign exchange student who’s a vampire.  A vampire who’s her vampire fiancé.

Jessica’s always known that she was adopted from Romania as a baby, but what she didn’t know?  Is that she’s actually a vampire princess, and she’s contractually obligated to marry her “prince,” Lucius Vladescu, in order to create a lasting peace between their warring clans.

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Pamela Dean, Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary

I’m only a little over a hundred pages into this book, but I have to stop and review it now because although I will probably finish it (it’s reasonably interesting), it is just too ridiculous to be borne.  I cannot shoulder this burden alone, people.  So I’mma shift it onto YOUR lazy asses.

Okay, so Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary are sisters; Juniper is the oldest at sixteen, Gentian is fourteen, and I think Rosemary’s like, eleven.  The book was published in 1998, and has to have been set around then, because Juniper is using an online message board pretty religiously.

So with that in mind, and without getting into the plot (there really isn’t one), here are my problems with the book thus far:

Gentian is fourteen in 1998 or thereabouts, making us near contemporaries (I was born in 1985—feel OLD or YOUNG, depending on your age).  Anyway.  I was 13 in 1998 and would have been a grade behind her, and although I grew up in the South and the book takes place in the Midwest and I recognize that styles vary according to geographic location, they do not vary that much when you are both American teenagers.  Which is why I snorfled when I read this line:

At lunch that day Gentian asked if any of [her friends] would come over that evening and help her make a red corduroy jumper to wear to all the holiday parties (Dean 124).

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China Mieville, The City and The City

Okay, seriously, can anyone tell me what the fuck was the point of this?  Not the mystery–I get what happened and why.  But what was the point of the bifurcated city IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Thanks in advance!

xoxo

Lulu Mankiller

Okay, moving on to an unbelievably spoilery review!  Seriously, everything below the author name and the title is a spoiler, which is why we are going to cut, cut, CUT!

Mary E. Pearson The Adoration of Jenna Fox

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