It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding

So the good news is that I apparently still have mental health coverage.  The bad news is that for some bizarre reason, psychiatrists and psychologists are no longer listed on the insurance company website, so I’m going to have to call a customer service representative and ask him/her to do the online search FOR ME every time [...]

Read Full Post »

A Sternly Worded Letter to My Mother

Dear Madame,
Over the years, you have sent me various contradictory messages.  You raised me on such novels as A Little Princess and These Happy Golden Years, and yet despite all the bereavement in these books and the love for super sweet mourning clothes that it engendered, you would not let me wear black.  “It makes you [...]

Read Full Post »

The Now-Ubiquitous Private Health Insurance Rant by an American

I have bad teeth.  I have some mild birth defects that cause problems (strangely-shaped mouth, thin or non-existent enamel in some crucial places), and I spent most of my childhood getting fillings or buffings or cleanings or SOMETHING.  I am extremely prone to cavities and always will be.  In fact, I’ve been chewing with only one [...]

Read Full Post »

Zombie Walk 2009

So this past Saturday, the Boyfriend and I decided to pretend that we aren’t old and went and did something Halloween-related.  Since our roommate was going to a Zombie Walk in Silver Spring, we were all, “Eh, let’s bum off the single person’s cool factor.”
This is what we were bumming off, folks:

 

Read Full Post »

A “First” We Never Wanted to Have

A couple enters a unisex public bathroom at a metro station in Northern Virginia.  He goes to the urinal, she goes to the toilet.
Him:  Aww, man, this is awkward.
Her:  What?  We pee in front of each other all the time.
Him:  No, I mean–dude, are you SITTING on that toilet?
Her:  Obviously.  What’s the big deal?
Him:  The [...]

Read Full Post »

An Open Letter to Disgrasian (Among Others)

I weighed 170 pounds by the time I was twelve years old.  I was maybe 5’1”.
There.  I just established my fat street cred.  Let’s move on, shall we?
This one goes out especially to Disgrasian for this post, but the rest of you in the “progressive” blogosphere should probably check yourselves, too. 
Ahem.  As a past, present, [...]

Read Full Post »

Oh Yeah, I’m Kind of a Flake

I keep forgetting to mention that I was interviewed about all things Southern over at Sesquicentennial Madness.  My interview is here, but I would really suggest checking out today’s post.  It’ll break your heart.

Read Full Post »

The Headless Cupid

Guys, Oliver has figured out how to open drawers and I think my life may be over.  One day, I’m going to come home and find that animal fixing himself a sandwich, and then there will be no stopping him.  DAMN YOU, GIANT CAT BRAIN!
Anyway.  Hey, sometimes I read books?  Remember that time, guys?  The [...]

Read Full Post »

My Math Brain

Here’s a big shocker:  I can’t do math.
Or rather, I can’t do math involving shapes.  I rock basic algebra, fuck yeah.
Give me an equation that has NOTHING TO DO WITH A SHAPE, and I will kick its ass so hard, I’ll make a dent in the space/ass continuum.
That’s because I am able to see equations [...]

Read Full Post »

Undignified Pictures of People and Cats

…I think that title just summed up the entire internet.  Anyway.
So on Monday night I gave Oliver a bath, which was an experience I hope to never repeat–but am certain that I will (fucking dandruff).  Yeah, so holding down 18 pounds worth of wet cat?  FUN.  You should have seen us afterward.
In fact, you MUST [...]

Read Full Post »