To begin with: In Which I Reveal Several Unpleasant Aspects of My Personality keeps getting spammed by ads for Viagra. I find that funny on a number of levels. Also, sad. Not being able to get a boner isn’t a personality flaw, people. It’s just a matter of blood flow.
Moving on.
Julia P. Gelardi, In Triumph’s Wake: Royal Mothers, Tragic Daughters, and the Price They Paid for Glory
The older I get, the closer to death I become, and therefore the less time I have to devote to books that just Aren’t Cutting It. Which is a bit of a pain in the ass for me, because once I start something, I don’t enjoy stopping it—and I have been known to force march through a book regardless of how bad I think it is just because I want to be able to say I read it.
Well. I think I’m finally taking the baby steps necessary to get over that. To whit: I read about twenty pages of In Triumph’s Wake and then quit. That’s right: I’m a quitter, and I’m HAPPY ABOUT IT.
Thing is, In Triumph’s Wake had an interesting topic: Gelardi took three sets of Queen/Daughter of Queen combos and talked about how basically, none of the girls ever quite lived up to mom’s reputation. She covers Isabella of Castile and Catherine of Aragon, Maria Theresa of Austria and Marie Antoinette, and Queen Victoria and the Empress Frederick. Sounds fun, right? Sounds like useful ammunition when your own mother starts harping on you for not being a big success, right? “At least I didn’t convert England to Protestantism through my failure to bear a living male child!” you can scream before flouncing off to your car. But no. Gelardi took such a worshipful stance towards the three queen mothers that it made me retch, and when she had the unmitigated gall to claim that the reputations of Isabella, Maria Theresa, and Victoria remained untarnished to this day…
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED THE INQUISITION? IT IS GENERALLY REGARDED AS NOT BEING SO GREAT. ALSO, HAVE WE HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED BRITISH IMPERIALISM? IT CAME TO AN UGLY HEAD DURING THE “VICTORIAN ERA.” I THINK THOSE REPUTATIONS HAVE BEEN JUST A WEE BIT TARNISHED, OKAY?
OKAY.
And after my head had stopped spinning and the urge to kill had passed, I put the book down and haven’t looked at it since. I have better things to do with my time than read it. Like stare at a wall. Or pick my toenails. ANYTHING, REALLY.
Recommended for: Don’t. Just…don’t.
I actually gave up on a book today. I’m massively averse to it, and I’d been pushing through it because I *know* the author can write well and I was hoping the others in the series would be better (it was her first published novels), but after I realised that it has taken me a day and a half to get through eighty pages I decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Second book ever I’ve given up on inn disgust because of the writing style – the first was The Pickwick Papers. I hate Dickens.
The book today, by the by, was Wrede, Patricia C – [Lyra 01] – Shadow Magic.pdf
Aack! I love Wrede! But yes, she can suck. You ever read Sorcery and Cecelia? It’s great, but the sequels are made of fail.
Argh, my comment didn’t post. No, I haven’t and I don’t think I have them. I reread The Enchanted Forest Chronicles the other day, which I love the hell out of. Since I gave up on Shadow Magic I’ve read Mairelon The Magician and Magician’s Ward and am trying to work out what to read next – possibly E Nesbit, as I haven’t read those in a while.
Try Sorcery and Cecelia. It’s so sweet, it’ll make your teeth fall out.
Just the subtitle: “The price THEY paid for Glory” already tells me to stay the hell away.
I’m not sure there’s even one queen that doesn’t carry some sort of negative reputation…
I mean, it’s monarchy! Terrible things must be done to have absolute rule. That’s pretty much why it’s wrong, duuuh.
I don’t appear to have it, or I would. I decided on Diana Wynne Jones instead of E Nesbit – the Chrestomanci books first.
Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaanaaaaaaaaaa. Good choice!
Urgh. I had entirely forgotten how horrible Gwendolen was >_< But yes, I quite like Diana ^_^ I should read the book of Howl's Moving Castle. Is the movie terribly inaccurate? :s
…do not get me started on the movie. It is so inferior to the book that it makes my brain break.
I kind of loved the movie though, knowing nothing of the book. If I’m careful, maybe I can get it in my head like The Neverending Story. I saw the movie of that long before I ever knew there was a book, and they’re different enough that I can like them both on their own merits. Not the second film though, it’s horrible.