This Sunday is my 24th birthday (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!), so my brother and one of my best friends are coming up to visit me. I’m exceptionally thrilled about this, because A.) My brother is so much fun! And he has a truck! and B.) Brandy is one of like, two people I knew in high school that I still talk to on a regular basis—and there’s a reason for that. And the reason is not that everyone else that I knew in high school sucked; the reason is that Brandy is so INCOMPARABLY AWESOME.
Seriously, the first time I met the girl, she climbed on top of a parked SUV and then conducted a conversation with me upside-down through the window. If someone is that cool at 18, can you even IMAGINE how much they will rock at 25? I can, but only because she’s actually ROCKED MY FACE RIGHT OFF in person on numerous occasions.
So anyway, my brother and my friend are coming to see me, and they’re going to stay in my humble abode. Which is fine, except for one thing: the cats. To begin with, Brandy is allergic, so we’re putting her in the basement where the kitties can’t skank all over her. Also, my cats are total shits. When Mimi isn’t hissing, she’s puking, and I swear to God, Oliver’s taught her how to whine for attention. She used to be upfront about her need for love: she would come to you, and then petting and purring would commence. But then Oliver came and showed her the Way of Relentless Whining, and now she’s ruined. Last night, for example, I heard a horrible wailing from upstairs. Mimi is a creature of unbelievable marmalade gorgeousness, but her meow is like something out of Pet Cemetery, and frankly? I thought Oliver had disemboweled her or something. So I raced up the stairs, wheezing a little (I ate A LOT in California, okay?), only to find Miss Mimi sitting pretty on her usual perch. She blinked innocently at me, and I quickly ascertained that she was in no way injured. “Did you just call me up here because you were lonely and didn’t want to walk downstairs?” I asked as I petted her puffy white chin.
In response, she purred ferociously. Lazy little bitch…