Okay, isn’t this just the cutest concept ever?
…maybe I need to work on learning the actual definition of “cute,” but still. Isn’t it neat? Unfortunately, the execution leaves something to be desired. I’m seeing a few problems, here:
- In order for someone to actually get this joke, they’d either have to A.) come read the website, or B.) stare at my stomach and my chest for several long moments. Either way, that’s a lot of work for a simple joke about LEGO Vikings. Not to mention a rather intense invasion of my personal space. Can’t we just put “It Takes a Pillage” somewhere on the shirt and be done with it?
- If you check out the “girlie” t-shirts on that thar site, you’ll notice that although they are VERY CAREFUL not to show you anything below the belly-button region, the shirts still look as though they’d be tight in the hips. Readers, there is nothing more irritating that a t-shirt that is tight in the hips. NOTHING.
- Don’t get me wrong, I am okay with subtle. I bought my boyfriend a Zartram the Merciless t-shirt, so clearly I am okay with subtle (seriously, it took him like six months to figure out what was supposed to be so damn funny about the Declaration of Independence. THAT IS SUBTLE). However! I am fine with understated, but I think Glarkware usually takes it too far. To whit: if your three-paragraph explanations of the t-shirts are ten million times funnier than the t-shirts themselves, then in the immortal words of one Mr. Tom Hanks–”Houston, we have a problem.” I don’t want your high-concept, inscrutable, and completely wordless “First Snow in Space” shit: I want “Swedish Mafia: Efficient but Deadly.” Simple. Clear. Hilarious. Why is that so hard?
- Oh, and while we’re at it, could you quit making everything in such hideous colors? Your penchant for vitamin B piss yellow is really starting to kill me, here.
In conclusion: I know that you are hipsters, and that hipsters get off on being “ironic” and cliquey and otherwise douchey, but could you give up on all that and just be funny? I know you have it in you. Really. I know it.
