WALL*E and Mark Twain
WALL*E
You know the drill: adorable robots. Lumbering fat humans (for a really good critique of that part of it, go here). I don’t really feel like I have anything to add to this discussion beside the totes obvs. Which is–PIXAR? Quit trying to make me think that revolting, plague-bearing vermin are adorable. You tried it with rats in Ratatouille, and now you’re pulling the same thing with cockroaches in WALL*E. In a word: ugh! In two words: gross! I could go on, but eventually we’d reach the limits of my vocabulary and I’d be reduced to screaming, “The bug! The bug! KILL IT!”
Seriously, guys. One of those things chased me up the stairs when I was five. They are one species that I’d happily see extinct–and in fact, between the carcinogenic chemicals I spray around my house and the large, heavy objects I use to crush stray roaches, I am doing my level best to make that dream a reality. My. Level. Best.
So don’t try to make kids think cockroaches cute. If my theoretical android baby one day asks for a roach farm instead of an ant farm, I will personally hunt down every single person affiliated with this movie and pour said roach farm down their throats. And then spray them with Raid. Because I take no prisoners. And also because Raid is so ineffectual that it almost certainly wouldn’t kill them–so I could only be charged with attempted murder.
Whenever possible, go for the lighter jail sentence.
In conclusion, don’t make me introduce you to my family’s copy of The Collected Works of Mark Twain, y’all. You see those stains? Mark has killed cockroaches on like, two separate continents and in two island nations. In addition to being a literary icon, he is also an international insect assassin. So if the next PIXAR movie stars a trash can and his loveable pet slime eel, I will be introducing the PIXAR studio heads to Mr. Twain. HARD. IN THE FACE.
Recommended for: Wait for the DVD so that you can fast-forward through the scenes with…the bug.
July 18, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Cockroaches are the worst things known to man. I can’t watch that one musical scene in Enchanted because of all those damn roaches running around. So gross.
But I must admit, they made that cockroach in WALL*E look cute and not make me want to puke. I was actually impressed they could pull it off.
July 22, 2008 at 12:43 pm
*shudders* I have to admit, that bug was kind of cute when it chirped and twitched its little feelers at WALL*E. But then it got run over or stepped on or whatnot, and it crunched and let out that…*stuff* that oozes out of roaches when you crush them. That was SERIOUSLY it for me. I spent the rest of the movie going, “This would be adorable…if only I had some combat roach gel handy.”
Bleh!